Of the Day's Annoyances
by Lucillia
Summary: Excerpts from the journal of a Hyuuga Hiashi who raises Naruto. October 12, Potty Training: How is this my responsibility?
1. 0 to 3

October 15:

**Godfathers**. The godfather of my newest charge ditched his responsibility, giving the flimsiest of excuses as a reason. The mother of said child - who had briefly been a ward of the clan when we sponsored her in her quest for Konoha citizenship after she had been sent to take Senju Mito's place as the Kyuubi Jinchuriki - had predicted that something like this would happen and managed to secure a promise that her child would become a ward of the Hyuuga should something happen to her and her husband whom she'd neglected to name, and no suitable guardian could be found. I had thought the local orphanage to be a suitable guardian, but my pregnant and rather hormonal wife who had taken a liking to the Uzumaki woman when they were children begged to differ.

I can only assume that Uzumaki Kushina's mystery husband had managed to catch Jiraiya of the Sannin while he was three sheets to the wind and halfway down another bottle when he got the man to agree to be his child's godfather. The man was obviously lacking in either sense or sanity as his choice of godfather and name for his child clearly shows. Who in their right mind would give that drunken pervert any responsibility, much less their child whom they had named after something found in a bowl of ramen?

November 26:

**Bottles. **My darling wife decided I needed practice for when my own child comes a month from now and left the Uzumaki child with me for the day. While changing diapers was a rather unpleasant task that I would rather leave to a member of the Branch house despite my wife's desire that I be involved in all aspects of the raising of our offspring, it is a relatively undemanding one. It is feeding the child that has proven most troublesome. As I discovered after several attempts, if the formula is not the correct temperature and consistency the child would refuse to drink, and would briefly look at me with a pair of cold blue eyes that I could swear I last saw beneath the Hokage's hat less than two months ago before he would resume crying. The destroyed bottles from attempts at quickly heating the child's food with a fire jutsu will be disposed of in a place where they will never be found.

October 8:

**My Desk.** Until now the fact that my desk and my wastebasket were both metal had never been an issue and probably never crossed my mind more than once. It wouldn't have today if Naruto - who is rather precocious for a baby who turns a year old in two days - hadn't discovered the joys of covering his head with the now empty wastebasket and running into my desk. Repeatedly. It has become increasingly difficult to work with the constant clanging in the background. My darling wife, rather than saving me from this situation, thought that it was positively adorable and started taking pictures.

I will take pride in the fact that my daughter Hinata is much better behaved than the little hooligan in the making that I cannot order a Branch member to usher out of my office due to a generations old seal that prevents them from entering it in the first place, as the office is supposed to be the sanctuary and sole domain of the head of the clan. Which now that I think of it is patently ridiculous, since I have to get up and carry my paperwork from the door to my desk several times a day, and have to go out of my way to meet with and discipline Branch House members at some other location in the compound. What the hell had my great-grandfather been smoking when he came up with that idea?

January 1:

**Sake.** How Naruto managed to get his hands on any at all, I do not know. Fortunately, the boy's occupant prevented any accidental poisoning. However, the damnable Kyuubi did not prevent the inevitable hangover, and I am now stuck dealing with a very miserable 14 month old baby. My wife has apparently decided that the whole incident was my fault somehow and has left me to deal with the fallout as punishment.

June 12:

**Frogs.** Naruto somehow managed to get his little hands on one and turned it loose during a meeting between myself and Uchiha Fugaku. After bouncing around my office for a while, the frog ended up landing on Fugaku's vest, jumping onto his face, and attempting to climb up the side of his nose. Fugaku decided to take this personally for some strange reason. It's not like this had been arranged as payback for the time little Itachi had set that lizard loose or anything...

October 21:

**Potty Training. **How is this MY responsibility?

March 24:

**Koi Ponds.** Someone has obviously been neglecting the one near the back of the compound. Naruto dove into it because he wanted to hug one of the rather expensive fish that most definitely should not be hugged, and came out completely covered in algae. The rather affectionate child then proceeded straight to my office where he decided to hug me as well, trailing clumps of algae behind him and transferring a large amount of said algae onto my clothing in the process.

July 23:

**Uchiha Sasuke. **Why I accepted that invitation to the party celebrating that boy's 3rd birthday on Naruto's behalf, I do not know. I was forced to break up three fights between the Uchiha boy and my ward during the party and ended up with a bloody nose due to a lucky kick from the Uchiha child as a result.

October 10:

**Pinatas.** While the brightly colored paper mache creatures may be a Whirlpool birthday tradition, it is one that I will never again follow in regards to Naruto as I do not enjoy being whacked in the privates with a stick. I shall be having words with Hizashi about the timing with which he had pulled the pinata away from my ward.


	2. 3 to 6

November 12:

**Villagers.** Another petition from the civilian members of Konoha's populace made its way to the Hokage's desk with the support of one of the minor clans. Apparently someone who was "afraid of the Hyuuga misusing the boy" had once again requested that Uzumaki Naruto be removed from my clan's care. Fortunately, I had filed for custody of the boy as an individual. Undergoing yet another inspection of my home when I could be doing something more productive had been annoying. Naruto's medical exam turned up nothing as always. The plots of those who would be far more likely to abuse my charge than I would have been foiled yet again. This is one day of my life I will never get back however.

December 27:

**Birthday Cake. **Oddly enough, it wasn't Naruto who was causing trouble this time. My normally rather mild Hinata had thrown a fit because the icing on her birthday cake was the wrong color. I was almost grateful when Naruto finally stopped my daughter's barely intelligible tirade by grabbing a handful of said cake and starting a food fight with Neji.

March 23:

**Kumo. **I shall probably be eternally grateful for Naruto's current guard dog phase. If the boy hadn't been imitating one of the dogs he'd seen in the Inuzuka kennels during a "playdate" with the clan head's son, the ninja who had come with the delegation from Kumogakure probably would have escaped with my daughter. As it was, the incredible disturbance that Naruto had caused when he latched onto the man with teeth that I can attest to being exceedingly sharp had caught the attention of both the Uchiha Police and several ANBU who had been patrolling nearby.

December 4:

**Neji.** In encouraging Naruto to perform a repeat of the "Shaving Cream Incident", the boy pushed him to new heights in the pranking career I had hoped that I'd nipped in the bud.

April 2nd:

**Mystery Muck. **I shall not ask what was in the substance that Naruto had managed to track through the compound. I strongly suspect that I do not want to know.

October 10:

**Uchiha Sasuke. **Not wanting to affront the rather touchy head of the Uchiha clan, I invited both of the man's sons to Naruto's birthday party despite my reservations over doing so. The elder son Itachi who had recently become a Chunin had declined the invitation since he was undertaking a B ranked mission on this date. The younger son unfortunately accepted the invitation. Naruto and the normally cheerful Uchiha boy who is a few months older than him and my daughter seem to be like oil and water. Every time they meet, there is some sort of conflict. This time, there was a knockdown-dragout fistfight in the middle of the garden. One of the bonsai trees that my father lovingly tended to day in and day out for as long as I can remember was destroyed in the scuffle.

Both boy's claim that the other is their "best friend", go figure.

December 27:

**Hizashi. **I am certain that my brother bought Hinata that particularly noisy and annoying toy for her birthday to spite me. Naturally, that toy became Hinata's favorite present, and she has spent the last six hours playing with it nonstop.

March 30:

**Hanabi. **My new daughter who is apparently my spitting image has been in this world for three days. Over those three days, the child has not stopped crying. Hinata was much quieter at this age. Heck, Naruto was quieter, and that kid is almost never quiet. As my wife is still in the hospital recovering from the exceedingly difficult birth, I am left to tend to my daughter.

August 20:

**Sunstroke. **My wife had not recovered her full strength after Hanabi's birth. The unusual heat of this summer had proven too much for her. She had been working in the garden when she fell. She had been brought inside immediately, but it was too late.

October 10:

**Birthday Parties. **I have not been in the mood to celebrate for a while. My brother however seemed to think that I'd been spending too much time alone and dragged me to the event marking the celebration of the 6th anniversary of Naruto's birth. Most people think that this day should be one of solemnity and often look down on people who "Celebrate the birth of the Demon Fox". This year, I almost agree with them, as I'm not in the mood to party for any reason.


	3. 6 to 9

January 1:

**Sake.** Somehow Naruto had gotten into the sake during the new year's celebrations and managed to get himself drunk. An intoxicated Naruto is a terrifying thing to behold, especially after he got his hands on some ninja equipment and got it into his head that it was a good time to pull a prank using said equipment.

The rebuilding of the main house is scheduled to start tomorrow.

March 21:

**Uchiha Sasuke.** He and Naruto have gotten into yet another fight. This time jutsu were involved. I had thought they had gotten past that stage a year and a half ago at Naruto's fifth birthday party. Apparently, I was mistaken. I now have to pay damages to the Uchiha clan for the stall they wrecked amongst other things.

Keeping Naruto and the Uchiha boy apart is a near impossible task as both continue to view the other to be their best friend.

June 5:

**Hizashi. **My brother decided to teach my daughter how to fish for some strange reason. As a result, Hinata became covered in fish guts during the cleaning process, and I was forced to choke down the blackened thing that had been set on my plate at dinner after Hinata had tried her hand at cooking said fish in order to appease my daughter.

October 10:

**Birthdays. **Naruto's birthday party was yet again an unmitigated disaster. Members of the branch family who are responsible for such things have spent the last several hours trying to figure out how to get the bits of cake off of the ceiling. I will have to punish Neji later for sneaking an explosive tag into the birthday cake.

March 12:

**Hizashi again. **I have the distinct impression that Hizashi is using Hinata to get at me. I would probably be more resentful of this if my brother wasn't practically raising my daughter since I don't really have the time to do so. Hopefully Hinata's interior decorator phase will pass soon. I am not a little girl, and therefore do not like my sleeping quarters decorated in varying shades of pink or covered in lace frills.

September 6:

**Academy Instructors. **I have received reliable reports that the Instructor for Naruto's Academy class has been deliberately ignoring the boy's presence, and refusing to answer even basic questions. I will have a talk with the man later, and if this behavior does not improve, I shall be forced to contact the Hokage.

December 27:

**Hizashi again. **Why oh why did he have to buy Hinata a pony?

February 8:

**Hanabi. **I made the mistake of bringing my younger daughter into my office. In the ten minutes she was here, she shredded several important documents and spilled my ink on my lap. I should have learned my lesson after the last time that Naruto had been let in here.

June 14:

**Uchiha Fugaku. **The man dropped by again making yet another unreasonable demand. If I could actually keep Naruto away from his younger son, don't you think that I wouldn't already have done so? Naruto, Sasuke, and my nephew Neji are probably the worst trio of hellions that Konoha has seen in a good long time.

September 23:

**Naruto. **The amount of the clan's resources that are spent on repairing damage that boy caused is amazing. Inuzuka Tsume, The Uchiha Clan Estate, and I now have to pay to have an entire wing of the Ninja Academy rebuilt. If the boy isn't brought under control soon, the Hyuuga clan will become bankrupt.

October 10:

**Birthdays. **The good news is that I can have the cast off of my arm in two weeks. The bad news is I'll still be in the hospital. Fortunately, I have company. My brother Hizashi is in the next bed over.


	4. 9 to 12

March 23rd:

**Academy Graduation:** Naruto, Neji, and Sasuke all decided to graduate early and graduate together. Rather than having three more years to worry about how Naruto will fare out in the field, I have a week to hope and pray that Naruto fails the final test.

March 31:

**Genin Teams: **The Hokage who apparently hasn't learned the lesson we Hyuuga had learned long ago has in his infinite wisdom decided to place Naruto, Neji, and Sasuke all on the same team in hopes that the Uchiha boy will come out of the shell he's been increasingly drawing himself into since the massacre of his clan. The sensei they have chosen for this team is Hatake Kakashi. It seems to be a sensible choice on the surface, but I'm uncertain that a burnout like Kakashi will even attempt to rein this little trio of hellions in.

July 7:

**Tora: **During the mission to capture the feline, Naruto, Neji, and Sasuke caused a massive amount of property destruction. With all of the rebuilding and the compensation to the other clans and the village, it's a wonder that the Hyuuga clan isn't completely bankrupt. At this point, we've got every able-bodied Hyuuga who's ever been issued a hitai-ate running missions just to stay in the black. Which reminds me, I've got a C-rank this afternoon.

October 10:

**The Clan Elders: **I've been informed by the elders of my clan that now that Naruto is a shinobi of the leaf and therefore an adult in the eyes of the law, it is time for me and my wife to turn him loose. Even though he's made my life a living hell at times, corrupted my nephew, and destroyed my home, I find myself strangely reluctant to do so. I also have serious doubts that Naruto would be able to cope in the outside world since he is only ten years old.

December 27:

**Hizashi:** As if the pony from two years ago wasn't enough, my brother went out and bought my daughter a dog for her birthday. If this keeps up, the girl will have quite the menagerie, and I'll look like the villain in all of this for saying no in the first place. If I were even slightly less kind and loving towards my brother than I am, I would have activated his seal long ago.

June 1st:

**Rent Collection: **My bright idea to convert an unused building on the Hyuuga property into affordable communal Genin housing last year has proven to be less than stellar. Aside from the fact that not all my tenants are Genin as one room is occupied by a single Chunin with three kids to support, I find that I constantly have to remind the children that are living in the small complex about little things like the rent which is always due on the first of the month. Naruto has been more punctual in paying the rent than he was when he first moved in however.

September 24:

**C-ranked Missions: **Every time my nephew's and Naruto's team goes on one, some sort of mishap occurs. This time Neji has returned with a broken leg, and a hawk of some sort has adopted Naruto.

January 1st:

**Chunin Exams: **Both Naruto and my nephew were displeased to learn that they would not be participating in the Chunin Exams which will be taking place in Suna. They have made their displeasure known in a manner which has landed their sensei in the hospital. I will of course be the one who is forced to make a formal apology, even though it was mostly accidental on my nephew and Naruto's part.

June 15:

**Chunin Exams again: **I wish that I could tell Naruto exactly why he will never be allowed to participate in any Chunin Exams that take place in a foreign country. It would quite likely reduce the boy's extreme behavior upon discovering that he won't be entered the next time the Exams roll around. Unfortunately, there are laws about that.

July 24:

**Birthday Parties: **Naruto and Neji decided to throw a loud and raucous one for Sasuke's twelfth birthday. The boy didn't appreciate it, as his teammates hadn't requested his permission before designating his house as the venue. Several members of my clan returned home between the hours of midnight and ten a.m. quite obviously under the influence of the alcohol that Naruto ordered as a prank. Not all of them were adults.

October 10:

**Birthday Parties again: **Sasuke returned the favor.


	5. 12 to 15

January 23:

**Anniversaries:** One would've thought I'd have learned my lesson the one time I forgot my first wife's. The new light of my life hasn't let me hear the end of it for the last week. Being a recently retired Jounin, her reprimands regarding my "insensitive" behavior have not been limited to words. I'm going to have to thank Naruto for introducing the two of us, preferably with something sharp.

March 30:

**C-Ranks Again: **It was supposed to be a run of the mill escort mission. Naruto, Neji, and Sasuke have destroyed an entire country with the assistance of Maito Gai's Genin team and dragged two Missing-nin home with them.

April 15:

**Eternal Rivals: **I'm going to have to keep Rock Lee, Haruno Sakura, and TenTen away from my ward, my nephew, and the Uchiha for the sake of Konoha's continued survival.

June 24:

**Hizashi: **My brother refuses to quit spoiling my daughter and catering to her every whim. I know that he's been doing this just to spite me. Today, he's stuffed Hinata full of every sweet her little heart desires and turned her loose on me. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that he mixed Soldier Pills in with the sweets considering the fact that my daughter's behavior strongly reminds me of the time her mother took too many and got a little...loopy.

July 7:

**Chunin Exams: **Who would've thought my nephew and his team being allowed to participate would be worse than when they weren't? Fortunately, neither I nor my clan are on the hook for damages incurred, up to and including that square mile of Training Ground 44 that is now charcoal and fused glass. Whoever taught Naruto the Exploding Clone technique should be taken out back and shot. I'd even be willing to supply the crossbow.

August 8:

**Invasions: **Fortunately, most of my clan and all of my immediate family survived the ordeal that has claimed the life of our Hokage.

October 10:

**Birthdays: **Having the new Hokage at the party only made things _worse_.

October 30:

**Orochimaru's minions: **Their attempts at capturing Sasuke somehow spilled over into my clan's compound. Rebuilding will likely bankrupt us even with the shrewd investments we have made over the last few years. All building efforts that were made following Naruto's birthday party have been completely wasted.

December 27:

**Jiraiya: **Hinata hasn't had a birthday without Naruto there, and thanks to that man taking the boy on a "training trip", my daughter's big day has been ruined.

April 24:

**Hanabi: **My aptly named younger daughter attempted to take Naruto's place in the Naruto, Neji, Sasuke trio. Upon being treated like a "little sister", she attempted to prove her worth. Fortunately, she isn't capable of the same level of sheer destruction that my former ward was.

October 10:

**Birthdays: **It's too quiet around here. I keep flinching at loud noises and expecting the other shoe to drop.

December 27:

**Hizashi: **He bought Hinata a house. He. Bought. Hinata. A. House.

June 4:

**Eternal Rivals: **I don't know who put that idea in those kids' heads, but if I ever find them, I am going to kill them. Slowly. If TenTen turns up for another "friendly" spar with Neji, I am going to personally throw her off the property if it's the last thing I do. Fortunately, Haruno Sakura is too busy training for the day Naruto returns to turn up and bother us.

October 10:

**Birthdays: **I didn't flinch at as many loud noises this year, and am also reveling in the relative silence. But, I also find myself missing Naruto's loud and destructive presence, especially on this day. I know he'll be back next year, but...


End file.
